my life recently

“Never take life seriously.

Nobody gets out alive anyways.”

this is SO TRUE !
I got this quote from the internet,
and I don't know who said this.
but it really makes me think...
why do I always think too much about my life?

I think a lot about my mark at school.
I think a lot about my love life.
I think a lot about my friends.
I think a lot about my career in the future.
I think a lot about my musical course.
I think a lot about my dogs.
I think a lot about my activities.
I think a lot about mostly: EVERYTHING !

then I got used to my thoughts.
what if I get bad marks?
what if my boy leave me?
what if blablabla and what if blablabla?
then I really get stressed about everything.

why am I always thinking about everything?
geez, I should stop thinking.

at this time,
I can't stop myself to hear my friend's words in my head:
"RILEK BEH, RILEK" - aan

Aqualung - Brighter Than Sunshine

I never understood before
I never knew what love was for
My heart was broke, my head was sore
What a feeling

Tied up in ancient history
I didn't believe in destiny
I look up you're standing next to me
What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
Brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, i don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
And it's brighter than sunshine

I never saw it happening
I'd given up and given in
I just couldn't take the hurt again
What a feeling

I didn't have the strength to fight
Suddenly you seemed so right
Me and you
What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine

It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun, sun, shine.

Love will remain a mystery
But give me your hand and you will see
Your heart is keeping time with me

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine

*dedicated to mirza azmi

my own musical life :)

pada dasarnya hidup itu berwarna
setiap kehidupan memiliki warna
sekian banyaknya kehidupan memiliki warna yang berbeda

warna hidupku seperti musik

dimulai dengan allegretto piano cantabile
terus mengalun dan berubah crescendo
terjadilah forte
semakin keras dan penuh staccato
tiba-tiba sedikit decrescendo
menjadi mezzo forte dengan riang
semakin decrescendo dengan tambahan ritardando
kemudian beristirahat sejenak dengan tenuto
berikutnya muncul lagi dengan allegro mezzo piano animato
dilanjutkan dengan piano scherzando

dan terus berlanjut
tidak pernah berhenti
terus mengalun dan mengalun
karena musik tidak akan ada akhirnya

itulah hidupku, my own musical life
:)

pessimistic = realistic

am I stupid?
or am I absolutely insane?

I know that we will not be together,
but I love you BIG

we came from completely different world,
different culture,
different family,
different perception of life,
different ways of life

we call our God in different name

how could I possibly thinking, or hoping
that one day, ONE DAY,
I definitely have you?

there is no freakin' way to make it that way

for your information
it hurts
it really hurts
to love and to be loved by someone
who will never be yours ...

you always ask me to be optimistic,
and leave my pessimist thoughts,
but I'm trying to be realistic, dude
though it hurts

I am preparing my heart

when I was saying 'don't go', I really meant it.
and when I say 'good bye' later, I will always mean it, too.
I will, hopefully.

:(

It doesn't even matter how much you say "I love you"
It doesn't even matter how much you say "I need you"
It doesn't even matter how much you say "I miss you"
as long as you're not there beside me

I love you, not your words
I need you, not your words
I miss you, not your words

Then be here, please

"it's not the same without you,
Because it takes two to whisper quietly"
Vanilla Twilight - Owl City

The Our Father

Our Father
Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name
Thy Kingdom come
Thy Will be done
on earth as it is in Heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive
those who trespass against us
And lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil
Amen

past is a past !

please, Sir
you are the most beautiful one
I kinda love you like much
I do anything for you, ANYTHING
as long as it might make you happy
but it was yesterday, long long long time ago

if there's a hope, I'll step forward and remember
if there's an uncertainty, I'll step back and forget

it's dynamic, it's not static
it's stupid, it's not even important

I was not recovered, I was changed
I was not agreeing, I was pretending

it's not a poem
it doesn't have any kinda special words
it doesn't even have any rhyme

it's just kinda my feelings
and I know that it's over
'cause I am moving on
and I believe that this is my 'happiness'

past is a past

so go away, would you?

teenage oh teenage

I'm a teenager.
I know this feelings are normal as a teenager.
but I just so sick about all of this stuffs.

I thought I was happy.
nice friends, cute and sweet bf, wonderful doggies.
then I realized that I am completely alone.
it was so suck, so I was like "errgh, seriously, I need someone!"
but no one was there.
then I thought I was sad.

but then I realized, that was just my stupid thought.
I have my own bf who loves me, my friends, my dogs.
then I was fine.
then I thought I was happy.

then I thought I was sad.

then I thought I was happy. again.

then I thought I was sad. again.

it happens all the time, you know?

I'm so tired to be a teenager.
when will I grow up?

sekolah?

Sejujurnya kenapa orang harus sekolah?

Apa ada gunanya?

Sekolah untuk mencari nilai.
Itu sudah seperti sebuah hukum.
Kita tidak sekolah untuk menuntut ilmu, tetapi menuntut nilai.
Nilai yang bagus bisa dipakai untuk lulus sekolah dan dianggap sebagai anak pintar.
Bisa dipakai untuk masuk perguruan tinggi ternama dengan mudah.
Sehingga bisa mendapat pekerjaan apa pun yang diinginkan.

Tapi untuk diketahui, menurutku, nilai itu sama sekali ga ada artinya.
Apalagi kalau nilai itu dipakai untuk mengukur seberapa pintar seseorang.

Kok bisa?

Liat aja, nilai itu kebanyakan ga murni.
Entah nyontek, entah ngerpek, entah lirik sana lirik sini, entah ngawur, nilai itu bukan dari otak murni.

Dan ga adil banget.
Seseorang yang belajar keras kebanyakan nilainya di bawah nilai orang yang ga belajar sama sekali tapi pinter nyontek, pinter ngerpek, atau beruntung dalam hal ngawur.

Jadi kepikiran kan?
Sekolah itu bukan untuk menuntut ilmu.
Sekolah itu untuk menuntut nilai.
Dan nilai ga mengukur sepintar apa seseorang dalam pelajaran.

Tapi,

Nilai mengukur sepintar apa seseorang dalam hal mencontek.

*kebanyakan.

!

Maaf jadi orang jangan munafik

hmm hmm ...

When you think about love,
What do you get in mind?
A feeling to be remembered?
Or just something that is so unimportant?
Or simply a part from your life, that you can't leave behind?

Some said that love is somekind of feeling.
They just feel it and let it go.

Some said that love is something that we are fighting for.
They try so hard to get it and get satisfied when they success.

Some said that love is somekind of illusion.
It doesn't exist and they don't even give a shit.

Some said that love is something that they need.
They feel so empty without love and they have to love and being loved.

But to me,
Love is an emotion.
Something that you feel
when you need someone to be right there beside you,
when you need to take care of him,
when you need to save him from dangerous thing,
when you need to be happy for him or sad for him anytime,
when you need to hold him tight and believe that he won't leave you.

That is a thing that I call LOVE

untuk orang yang melahirkan aku

mungkin aku ga sempurna
mungkin aku buruk rupa
mungkin aku bodoh
mungkin aku tidak ada artinya
mungkin aku cuma membawa penyesalan
mungkin aku terlalu hina
mungkin aku menguras uang Anda
mungkin aku hanya meminta
mungkin aku menyusahkan
mungkin aku tidak bisa dibanggakan
mungkin aku tak berbakat
mungkin aku mengecewakan
mungkin aku anak haram
mungkin aku anak buangan
mungkin aku anak dari orang yang Anda benci
mungkin aku tidak diharapkan
mungkin aku hanya beban
mungkin aku tidak bisa diam
mungkin aku menangis di tiap waktu
mungkin aku malas
mungkin aku tidak berguna

mungkin apa pun yang aku usahakan
mungkin apa pun yang aku perjuangkan
untuk Anda
tidak ada artinya bagi Anda

mungkin Anda lelah dan ingin membuangku
katakan saja
maka aku akan pergi
tidak perlu memperlakukan aku seperti ini
aku masih manusia
dan aku masih memiliki hati

aku bisa saja pergi dan mati
kalau itu yang Anda mau

. . .

karena cinta bukan untuk dipaksakan, namun untuk dirasakan
:)

Anyone Else But You - Juno

You're a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on you're back is the latest trend
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train
I kiss you all starry eyed, my body's swinging from side to side
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Here is the church and here is the steeple
We sure are cute for two ugly people
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

The pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive me
So why can't, you forgive me?
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

I will find my nitch in your car
With my mp3 DVD rumple-packed guitar
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Up up down down left right left right B A start
Just because we use cheats doesn't mean we're not smart
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

You are always trying to keep it real
I'm in love with how you feel
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

We both have shiny happy fits of rage
You want more fans, I want more stage
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Don Quixote was a steel driving man
My name is Adam I'm your biggest fan
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Squinched up your face and did a dance
You shook a little turd out of the bottom of your pants
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

simple word of LOVE

Through I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not LOVE, I have become sounding brass of a clanging cymbal.

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not LOVE, I am nothing.

And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not LOVE, it profits me nothing.

LOVE suffers long and is kind
LOVE does not envy
LOVE does not parade itself
is not puffed up

does not behave rudely
does not seek its own
is not provoked
thinks no evil

does not rejoice in iniquity
but rejoice in the truth

bears all things
believes all things
hopes all things
endures all things.

LOVE never fails.
But whether there are prophecies, they will fail
whether there are tongues, they will cease
whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part.

But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

When I was a child,
I spoke as a child,
I understood as a child,
I thought as a child
but when I became a man,
I put away childish things.

For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face.
Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

And now abide faith, hope, LOVE, these three
but the greatest of these is LOVE.

[1 Corinthians:13]

you, you, YOU

I gave you everything that I have
I did whatever you want
I let my duties away just for YOU

you said that you love me
you said that you need me
you said that you want me

you said that you are getting stress of your life
you said that you need me to be your happiness
you said that I have to be that one
who will always be there for you
who will happy for you when you are happy
who will cry beside you when you are sad
who will be the one for you to lent on

you said that you are in a bad mood
so I try to understand and make you smile

you said that you need one day with me
so I give you one

you said that you are tired
so I let you sit there

It's always about you, right?

then forget me
say that bad words for me
say it out loud
make fun of me

fine

I'm fine

my sunshine :)

let me introduce you :

M I R Z A A Z M I

:)

nama simpel yang hurufnya itu itu doang.
cuma 9 huruf, sama kayak jumlah nama depanku
[anastasia]
tingginya bukan main, 30 cm lebih tinggi dari aku yg cuma 150 cm.
cakep, item manis, dan pastinya mempesona
[yaiyalah pacar gua getooh]
anak OSIS, anak paski, anak voli.
aremania freak.
pretty cool for a boy.

apa pun itu.
dia adalah M I R Z A A Z M I.
my sunshine.
yang nganterin aku ke mana-mana
[makasih yee]
yang marah-marah kalo aku ngomongin mantan
[hahaha]
yang suka menggoda diriku biar makan waktu aku diet
[dan berhasil pula!]
yang pinter fisika dan suka sombong
[cuih cuih !]
yang ngajarin aku nyetir motor dari dasar
[meskipun tetep ae gak berhasil]
yang sayang aku apa pun yang terjadi
[*mukamemerahketipketip*]

makasiiiiiiiihhhhh baweeel ! :)
love you !
muah muah :*


Aku Mencintaimu - Monty Tiwa

aku mencintaimu, seperti pecandu yang cinta shabu
aku mencintaimu, seperti penjudi yang cinta dadu
aku mencintaimu, meskipun cinta kita tabu
tapi ku tak peduli, meskipun nanti aku masuk bui

dan dunia gak bakal ngerti
mereka pikir kita kawin siri
tapi yang penting engkau ngerti
bahwa demimu aku rela mati

aku mencintaimu, seperti maling cinta mati lampu
aku mencintaimu, seperti Aa cinta istri baru

dan dunia gak akan ngerti
mereka pikir kita kawin siri
tapi yang penting engkau ngerti
bahwa demimu aku rela mati

aku mencintaimu, meskipun cinta kita tabu
tapi ku tak peduli, meskipun nanti aku masuk bui
seperti pecandu yang cinta shabu
seperti penjudi yang cinta dadu

hahaha . noraaak ya postingannya?
biarin deh.
love you MIRZA ! :D

iya dan tidak

andai iya
andai tidak

bila iya
mungkinkah iya?

bila tidak
mungkinkah tidak?

barangkali iya
sepertinya tidak

barangkali tidak
sepertinya iya

kata mereka iya
menurutnya tidak

kata mereka tidak
menurutnya iya

akankah iya
apabila tidak?

akankah tidak
apabila iya?

namun iya
dia berkata tidak

do we love our country or NOT ?

INDONESIA

itulah negara kita.
katanya banyak budaya.
pol pol an.
nyatanya ada cuma buat dicolong Malingsia [red: Malaysia]

dan di mana aku bersekolah ?
SMAN 3 MALANG.

katanya keren, SBI, mantap jaya, pinter pinter.
tapi yaowloh bisa-bisanya gitu ga ada ekskul yang ada hubungannya sama BUDAYA

tari : gak ada
karawitan : gak ada

padahal mestinya itu ekskul-ekskul yang WAJIB ada di tiap sekolah [menurutku].

dan bukannya aku ga ada usaha.
aku liat sepintas ada satu set karawitan yang masih bagus di deket kamar mandi.
jadi aku klunuk-klunuk dateng ke PAK ADI dan PAK YE .
minta tolong tahun ajaran baru dikasih ekskul karawitan.
aku udah cari guru.
udah nemu.
oke selesai.

tapi, aku liat lagi tempatnya.
dan ternyata, setelah diperhatikan baik-baik.
ruangan itu GA MUNGKIN CUKUP buat membuat suatu suara.
demung, sharon, kenong, dkk ditumpuk.
ga ada tempat duduk buat pemain bonang.

miris banget.

ya Tuhan.
inikah sekolah yang BERTARAF INTERNASIONAL ?????

semua yang ber Inggris-Inggris di nomersatukan .
tapi negara sendiri, INDONESIA,

D I L U P A K A N ???????

everybody changing

So little time
try to understand that
I'm trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
but EVERYBODY'S CHANGING
and I don't feel the same

. . . .

monday madness of SBI school

oke ini hari senin.
senen.
monday.
hari pertama setelah libur.
hari yang dibenci GARFIELD.
hari yang konon jalanannya pagi pagi udah rame dan macet.
hari yang digunakan untuk upacara.
hari yang melelahkan untuk dokter karena pasiennya banyak (berdasarkan fakta ibu saya)
hari yang menjengkelkan untuk para pelajar yang bosan sekolah.

dan ketahuilah saudara saudara.
di hari senin yang ga diapaapain udah nyebelin gitu, SMAN 3 malang masuk siang.
hal ini dikarenakan kegiatan seleksi psb mandiri sekolah saya.
dan ketahuilah saudara saudara.
kejengkelan senin yang biasanya jam 15.00 sudah berakhir memanjang jadi jam 16.15.
dan ketahuilah saudara-saudara.
satusatunya hal menyenangkan dari ini cuman diri saya ini bisa bangun siangan.

dan entah kenapa, hari ini guru kimia ceramah pagi pagi.
orangnya ngomong panjang lebar tentang sekolah SBI.
dan satu hal yang mengganjal pikiran saya ... (mboh ini kenapa bahasaku berbaku ria)
bapaknya bilang, sekolah ini itu menuju SBI.
jadi siswasiswinya harus rajin.
berakhlak tinggi.
sopan.
ramah.
pintar.
ga boleh bolos.
ga boleh gini gitu kayak anak smanti sekarang ini.

dan pertanyaan saya.
kenapa kami para siswa ini diterima?
kenapa kalo sebegitu nyebelinnya kita,
sebegitu ga berakhlaknya kita,
sebegitu ga sopannya kita,
kita tetep diterima di SMAN 3 malang yang sangat bagus dan menuju SBI?

Mika - Grace Kelly

Do I attract you?
Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
Am I too dirty?
Am I too flirty?
Do I like what you like?

I could be wholesome
I could be loathsome
I guess I'm a little bit shy
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me without making me try?

I tried to be like Grace Kelly
But all her looks were too sad
So I try a little Freddie
Ive gone identity mad!

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you walk out the door!


it is just a great song that is so expressed my feeling right now .
I like this song sooooooo much !

so this is it !

yes yes yes .
akhirnya saya punya blog baru .
ini yang baru ini yang baru ! :D
hahaha .

jadi blog-blog lama saya sampai jumpa .
blog ini akan terus berjuang di dunia maya meskipun tidak banyak yang baca .
mungkin juga malah ga ada .
bwahahahaha .

oke . sampai bertemu di posting=posting saya berikutnya ;)